Resolution: 300 DPI Vector
OFFICIAL ACCREDITATION OF MERIT
The Royal College of Deprecated Functions & Syntax Dogma
Conferred under the Universal Charter of Corporate Resilience & Stochastic Alignment
This is to solemnly certify that
Bob Carilli
has persevered through unnecessary friction, maintained composure in the presence of absurdity, and is hereby formally conferred the credential of:
“Grand Master of Excel VLOOKUP: Refusing to Learn XLOOKUP on Pure Ideological Principle”
zk-SHRUG-v2 VerifiedBase L2 Anchor #19815812SHA-256 Ledger
Sir Percival Index-Match
Grand Inquisitor of Col_Index_Num
Torvald Lindqvist
Keeper of the Legacy Macro Ledger
ISSUED: September 17, 2026•ID: office-03
FINGERPRINT: 5ed846f54501dccf5f...•STATUS: IMMUTABLE
CertifyReal Deterministic Protocol • SHA-256 Fingerprint: 5ed846f54501dccf5f648de5...
Verification Status: Valid & Authentic
Cryptographically anchored on consensus ledger block #19815812.
Issuing Organization
Accredited AuthorityThe Royal College of Deprecated Functions & Syntax Dogma
Registered Sovereign Education Authority under the Universal Charter of Corporate Resilience.
Candidate / HonoreeBob Carilli
Credential ConferredGrand Master of Excel VLOOKUP: Refusing to Learn XLOOKUP on Pure Ideological Principle
Credential IDoffice-03
Date ConferredSeptember 17, 2026
Record ExpirationPermanent (Outlives Current Leadership)
Cryptographic Fingerprint
5ed846f54501dccf5f648de5fccd10545ed846f54501dccf5f648de5fccd1054
Demonstrated Competencies
Cross-Functional ComposureStochastic Alignment StaminaSingle Sign-On PatienceBureaucratic De-escalation